BLT make love to me

I'm here. Back 

Here. Nothing's 

Really happened. 

It's been really hot. 

Not cooling down

Anytime soon. I 

Had a whooper. 

Hehe wooper, 

Whopper. It made

Me kinda sick. I've

Been betrayed!!!! 

What the fuck

I wonder how my parents really think of me. I love my mom but she's not a good person and she's done and said bad things to me. She'll never admit that. I used to hate her but, I had to push it aside to be happy. And don't get me started on my dad. He was never really there. Always bought me stuff but, he's just a stranger to me. Now that I'm older, he's trying to fix the situation but it's not gonna work. It's dead. I went so long without my dad. I'm grateful for what he gives me but there is no connection, I'd never ask for things tho. 

sdjklhfgtrs

Sometimes I just

Want a hug. Or

To be pet on the

Head. I wonder

What it's like to

Be kissed. Stupid

Affection skill I'll

Never have. Shows

How unwanted you

Truly are past a sexual

Thought from creeps

In your hometown when

They look at your chest

For just a second. I'm

More than that. Surely. 

Hopefully. I'll stay inside. 

Blueberry oatmeal

I don't know what to write 

About. I am laying here.

Thinking. Thinking of you 

Maybe. You're nice. Yea. 

Even though I'm weird. 

I need to sleep. But I don't

Want to. And I have this

Gross sweet, gritty, tea

Drinking taste and 

Feeling in my mouth. I 

Should brush my teeth. 

But I don't wanna move. 

I'll deal with it later while

My teeth fall out my mouth. 

Why can't I take care of

Myself? I can never get the

Hang of it. Even when I know

I need to do it. I've pushed off

Brushing for days. I wish I knew

Why. This living shit is so stupid. 

Im tired. Goodnight. 

いやいやー!

I love flat chests. 

ツルペタ｡ツルペタ｡

ツルペタ｡ツルペタ｡

ツルペタ｡ツルペタ｡

ツルペタ｡ツルペタ｡

ツルペタ｡ツルペタ｡

ツルペタ｡ツルペタ｡

ツルペタ｡ツルペタ。

ツルペタ｡ツルペタ。

ツルペタ｡ツルペタ｡

ツルペタ｡ツルペタ。

ツルペタ｡ツルペタ｡

ツルペタ｡ツルペタ｡

ツルペタ｡ツルペタ。

Hotdogs are good for anything

I love rice

I think I will

Make rice. 

Yes I will. 

Pipirupirupiru pipirupi

I want to wear cute things. 

I'm so tired but all I can

Think about is being cute. 

Wearing cute things. Like

A anime girl maybe. 

かわいい男の子女の子、

そうよ!

Get out of my room!!

My mind is fucked up but I can't talk about that!!!! 

I want to go home. I wish I could go even if it's just

Next door. I imagine going back, that things will be

Better. I'll be in my room, on my computer. But I'm

Not. And I know things will never get better and I'll

Be stuck here. 

My mom doesn't do anything. She's home. I see her. 

What can she do. I don't want to take up with mother

Role. I ain't got no kids!!! But it feels like I do. Always

Giving her money, food, toiletries and such. She don't

Give me nothin. Just a thank you. Doesn't pay me back.

Or give me back my change. I'll never be able to go home. 

Im stuck in here. 

I just bit my nails!!!

It is hot. And I am very itchy. 

So so itchy. Ouch. I hate this. 

I am quite unfortunate

I have gotten sick. 

My throat hurts really bad,

I want to rip it out and

Catch a break. I also haven't

Slept. Very very tired and 

Very very hungry. But I can't

Move

PICK ONE PIECE OF CANDY FROM THE BOWL!!!!!

I hope you enjoy reading how I feel. 

I want to be famous. Have people talk

About me, think about me, become 

Obsessed, check for new posts and 

Relate to me. You may not know me

But we are friends and you are not

Alone. I am EVERYWHERE!!! Like

God or something. Shake my hand

And we'll be together in the candy

Bowl. I love candy. I had to mention

It. What's your favorite candy? I like

Nerds. And gummies. And a lot of 

Other things. No one's looking at 

These but you make me feel better. 

Like a warm internet hug. A thousand

Mouse cursors surrounding me and

Clicking. It tickles. Are you ticklish too? 

I like talking here. And to myself. 

Today was a bad day. Very bad. 

Bad thoughts and all that. 

 I wish I was different. 

I'LL HAVE WHAT YOUR SELLING

I wish I could change

How I look. I wish I

Could afford any 

Surgery I could 

Ever want just so

I could finally be

Happy. Just so I

Wouldn't cry

After looking at

Myself. I wish I

Could be happy.

I just want to be 

Happy. I don't

Want to be

Disgusting anymore. 

Typetypetypetype

It is 5am

And I am

Laying here. 

Staring at my

Phone. And

Into the darkness

Of my room. 

I want to get on

My computer

And hear the

Startup sound. 

It's saying hello. 

Hello computer. 

I love you. 

This isnt a poem, i hate making poems, I'm stupid

Sometimes I want

To hurt myself. 

But when I do

It doesn't feel

The same. I'm

All covered in

Scars. I look

Weird. Do

You like that? 

That's a stupid

Question. 

I don't know what to title these

In the recent years, I've formed a stutter where I can't get the words out and my speech is really broken. It only really happens when I'm by myself, it barely happens in front of people but I am glad because more people would think I'm retarded. I think I'm retarded. They say I'm special but that's a "nicer" way of saying someone's slow. It's stupid. You people are mean. I am just different and I'm trying to be okay so people don't make fun of me. 

Today was nice, I ate yummy stuff and got the things I asked for. That never happens. And now I can't sleep. Why does that happen? You doze off and go to get ready for bed and now you can't sleep. This is very inconvenient.

What?

I am a hikikomori. 

I'm fine with that sometimes. I have online friends. 

Real people scare me and are mean sometimes or 

Are outright creepy. I go to the store to get snacks 

And candy sometimes. I really like sweets. 

Sometimes they have cooked food there. 

I wish I could have a snack. I ran outta money. 

My wallet and stomach cry.

I'm sorry wallet. I'm sorry tummy. 

You know, not all hikkis stay inside all the time.

Like me. Some have to go to work. Or buy food. 

U just have no real friends. Recluse. 

My tummy sings for a sweet treat. Or something

Not sad. I know I know. My thoughts are so 

Jumbled sometimes. 

I have nothing to say!

Nothing really happened today. 

Took a nap. Ate. Talked to friends.

That's all. :T

Cruncha cruncha

I love food.

But I can't eat much. 

No money. No car. 

Makes me sad. 

I love food. 

It is my soulmate.

I'll never stop

Wanting yummy

Food. And everything

Else. Like candy. 

I'm fat, but I'll never 

Stop. I eat once

A day. Twice if I'm

Lucky. It really

Sucks to think about. 

I try to be happy

With the things I have

But there isn't much.

I feel so greedy but, 

I just want to be 

Happy. 

Going crunch crunch

Crunch. And nom nom

Nom. Cruncha cruncha. 

Sloosh. That's the 

Juice sounds. I like

The juice sounds. 

Yum yum as they say. 

Boing boing

I wish I was a

Loli or shota. 

I'd be short

And cute

And skinny

And flat. 

But I'm none

Of those things. 

I'm not cute

Like them. I'm

Fat. And long. 

The things I'd

Give to be

Like them. 

Don't think like that

If I tried to kill myself

No one would find me, 

To save me. The thought

Of not having a second

Chance at life is terrifying. 

Why is she like this

I can't wait to be free. 

I can do whatever I want

With my body. I could

Dye my hair, wear

Makeup, do what

Ever I want. I don't

Know why she does

This. My mom isn't

The best. She thinks

She owns me. Owns

My body. Disgusting. 

Some sort of stupid

Pedophile. 

Ew

Ew

Ew

Weirdo. 

I can do whatever I

Want with my body. 

I can't wait to be free. 

I'm melting

It's so hot. I hate

The heat. Always

So sweaty and itchy

And scratchy. 

Itchy scratchy

Itchy scratchy

Itchy scratchy. 

It really hurts. 

I can't wait for the

Winter. 

Why am I awake

I can't sleep and it's so stupid. Just close your damn eyes. You'd think my love for darkness would make me sleep. So, so stupid. 

I caaaannnn't believe my eyessssss. The fucking sun is ouuutt. 

Kiss x Sis made me who I am today

GaaahhhhhhhhAAAAAAAAAAaaaAAAA!!!!!!!

I don't have an umbrella

I love the rain. 

Pitter patter and all that shit. 

The world looks better

With the rain. 

But it's wet. 

I hate getting wet. 

Damn you!! 

lolishit

I'm no perv.
I am. 
Freak of nature, 
Stupid bitch. 

What's on your computer. 

Nothing. 

Shut up. 

>_>